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My Testimony Part 5: Standing Against Satan's "Beauty" aka Porn

You can find the previous parts of my testimony here, here, here, and here. The following writing is largely about overcoming pornography through Jesus Christ, with my testimony intertwined.

The first portion is my testimony (Witness 2, female), and the second portion is an analysis on how the Synagogue of Satan has destroyed society through pornography by Witness 1 (male). We hope that this male/female perspective will help readers see all viewpoints when it comes to Satan's snare of pornography. Please read until the end, as I believe Witness 1 wrapped it up powerfully.

Disclaimer: This post does talk about sexuality, so do not read it if you’re a pervert or you’re going to send weird messages. : )

Finally, this link is helpful for those beginning their battle in overcoming pornography. Thank you to "military anon" for the help!

Introduction

In my previous testimony, I spoke of my abusive relationship with Levi. It would be impossible to detail all of my memories with him, but there is one memory that stands out in regards to pornography.

He was visiting my house, and for whatever reason, he said he needed to go on the computer. I really didn’t think anything of it, as I was busy doing other things. It is important to note that we were at my family’s house at the time, and he was on the computer in the spare bedroom, where anybody had access to. However, my parents were not home.

I went to the room just to see how he was doing, and I noticed he was wearing headphones, so he didn’t hear me come in. I saw pornography on his screen, and with jealousy rising into my heart, I yelled angrily. In response, he got up out of the chair, and he threw me against the wall and hit me a few times.

Let’s just say that quieted me when it came to porn in our relationship, and I never spoke out against it again.

Now, I understand not everyone’s experience with porn is this shocking; still, I believe if most women could be completely honest about how porn has affected them, there would be a tremendous amount of similar stories. The destruction pornography has caused for men, women, and families is endless, yet, it is a glorified and accepted part of modern society. I could sit here and link study after study on how pornography is bad, but I’d rather just give my honest testimony on how porn impacted me as a woman, and later, Witness 1 will share his views on the subject. The point is that there is power in testimony, and maybe, for someone out there struggling with pornography, this is what they need to read.

In my next relationship with a man I will call Lane, he agreed to not watch pornography. This part is hard to word clearly, but what angered me so much about this relationship is that I was in my prime, so to speak. Many accuse women who do not like porn as just being “ugly” or “jealous”, but I’m telling you, this is not the case. In this relationship specifically, I was physically in shape and quite beautiful. I had many men after me. This is not to brag, but how crazy is this world that even when a man is with a beautiful woman, that isn’t good enough for him? When did this become the norm? Still, even if I wasn’t beautiful, would it be acceptable for a man to watch porn in a relationship? I will reflect on beauty in the next section, but let’s get back to porn.

In many relationships today, porn is the norm. If I openly tell anyone my views on pornography, I will be shunned. Jesus, however, would tell you that I am not so crazy in my viewpoints according to Matthew 5:28.You see, the more that the true teachings of Jesus Christ have left our society, the more things like pornography have flourished. It’s that simple. Even churches will rarely speak openly on the matter, and this may be largely because the majority, at least 70% of men, admit to watching it. When was the last time you heard a sermon on pornography in your church? Perhaps it is mentioned, but I doubt it is something deeply discussed.

Going back to my ex, Lane, we were fairly new in our relationship, and I truly felt we were in love. I truly thought I finally found a man who only wanted me. For men in relationships, this is extremely important to women and to God. Yes, God wants you with one woman, and I would even say that if you are a single man reading this who watches pornography, the porn could be interfering with you finding the right woman. We will talk about this later, so please continue reading.

In my relationship with Lane, I was not Christian. Still, I didn’t like pornography in a relationship, but I didn’t understand why. You see, the word of God is written in our hearts, so even though I did not have a relationship with God at the time, there was something inside of me that morally told me porn was wrong. I couldn’t put it into words at the time, but I truly believed that he loved me enough to not watch porn. It wasn’t just jealousy - I just didn’t see the point with being with a man and having sex with him if he was watching other women.

So, then, when I found his phone with “big a** pornography”, my heart shattered. It sounds so gross to write out, really, but that’s what he was looking at - I can actually still see the video in my mind after all of these years.

This was traumatizing to me. Now, I know men reading are used to the Jezebel spirit that reigns over the modern women, but for all intents and purposes, compared to the women around me at the time, I was pretty “virginal” in comparison. At the time, I never slept with a man I didn’t think I was in love with, and I took my relationships with men very seriously. Again, I wasn’t Christian but in my heart I understood the importance of monogamy and treating sex as sacred - God's Word is written in our hearts.

Pornography completely broke my spirit and confidence as a woman. That is what I want the men who are reading to understand. Porn weakened me in every way, even though I wasn’t taking part in it at all at the time. It doesn’t matter if women admit to it or not - porn destroys them in many ways. Plus, when men view it, women believe that is what men want, so how do you think they are going to act?

I confronted him, “Why am I not good enough for you? I thought you weren’t going to watch pornography in our relationship.”

He had his excuses, one of which was that he was “stressed.”

He didn’t have much else to say, and he vowed to never watch it again. As you can probably guess, that didn’t happen, and while he hid it well, every so often I would discover his habits. After a while, he struggled maintaining an erection during sex. Yes, he was an alcoholic, but I now understand porn greatly contributed to this problem - and of course, it is the reason many healthy, young men suffer from erectile dysfunction, as well.

Porn single handedly destroyed my self-esteem at the time. “Why wasn’t I good enough for him?” Really, that is a demonic thought, isn’t it? A demon will tell you are not good enough, and that is exactly what porn does to women. It tells them they can never be enough for a man. Never.

In fact, most women who have not been completely brainwashed by society have probably asked themselves the same question, yet they come up with many excuses as possible to justify their partner’s porn usage, like this one:

  • “Not all men watch porn because they desire other women. My partner told me flat out that he enjoys watching porn because he can control what happens. If he wants to see anal play, he can. If he wants to change the scene, he can. Pornography is like lucid dreaming in the sex world. You can do whatever you want. You can see whatever you want.”

I don’t even know where to begin with this quote, as it just shows the state of modern society. I am so thankful for the beautiful words of the Bible, that remind men to love their wives as Christ loved the church - not worry about “anal play.” Ugh.

But with that being said, I know not everyone reading this is in a relationship, and many men reading watch porn due to loneliness. At the end of this writing, Witness 1 will address some of that and hopefully provide some words to single men struggling with porn, too.

There is no doubt that porn has been so normalized that for many there is no conviction anymore. Most men watch porn and think it is a completely normal part of life. Most children are exposed to porn by 12, but I’m going to guess it’s even way younger than that for most. For many, they are realizing they have been stripped of so much because of porn, like this post I saw on /r/pornfree earlier today:

Now, if you log on to Reddit, let’s say /r/twoxchromosomes, they would tell you I’m an insecure woman who just needs to leave men alone - that there would be no man out there who didn’t watch porn, and if I expected that, I was a controlling lunatic.

In fact, women today are told porn is completely normal, and that any woman who gets angry about it is just controlling and insecure.

What I want to reiterate to men is that porn destroys women. Even if you are not in a relationship, when you watch porn, you are supporting what porn states directly and indirectly about women. Sure, you may think you are just one man and it doesn’t really matter if you watch porn, but to God it does.

While it is the end times, and there may be little we can do to save this world, it is important to get your soul ready for God. When you support porn, what you are really doing is supporting the destruction of women on many levels. Because of porn:

  1. Men lose sight of what real, godly women are supposed to be, and women become objects in their eyes.
  2. Porn makes women more insecure, and because of this insecurity, they may “act out” in a variety of ways that is displeasing to God, which I will note later in my testimony.
  3. Porn destroys the family unit and marriages, and divorce rates double with porn. Family is key to a functioning society.
  4. When you watch porn as a male, you are telling God you don’t honor the type of woman he wants you to, and therefore, you may find you struggle more with finding a godly woman in real life.

Look, I’m not saying if you are single and watch porn that I do not have any empathy for you, but you might want to consider pornography as something blocking you from many things - first, a relationship with God, and then, a relationship with a godly woman.

So, the first step in conquering porn is to examine how it affects your relationship with God. Most men I have spoken to tell me that they feel terrible after watching porn. Have they considered that there are actually demonic, Jezebel entities attached to this porn holding them back from real world women? Remember, Satan loves porn.

However, even if you have difficulty believing that, why would God want to reward you with a woman IF you cannot show you value the sanctity of a woman? When you view porn, you are telling God you don’t care about women and valuing them as He created them.

This may come off as harsh, but it may be needed for some reading. While this screen capture isn’t necessarily about porn, it shows you really how twisted the world has gotten when it comes to sexuality:

It is also important to remember that pornography opens you up to sexual taboos you never thought possible. When I realized my ex, Lane, did not want to have sex with me because of the porn, I myself started watching porn for relief. When I did watch porn in my former relationships, I was looking into sicker and sicker things. It would not be necessary to write them here, but the point is that the nature of pornography is to desensitize you, and I guarantee this man never would be doing what he was doing if he had never come across pornography:

Now, going back to my testimony, I honestly gave up on the idea of believing that there was any man out there who could just value one woman, and this started to change me. In a moment, I will go into porn’s deeper effect on my spiritual and psychological self, but before I do, I wanted to go into how beauty shaped me, and how it can be used as either a Godly tool or a Satanic one. After all, the essence of pornography is the “beauty” of a woman, but this is not the type of beauty God intended. Satan twisted what men have come to view as beautiful in a woman, and it is anything but Christ-like.

Satanic “Beauty”

Believe it or not, this was actually the first chapter I wrote in my testimony, but I have been waiting to publish it. Why? Starting my testimony on the topic of beauty seemed shallow and vain, but truly, if you are a woman, beauty is a core, invasive element of your life, whether you want it to be or not. So, I debated, is this what I really want to start my testimony with - beauty? Ultimately, it ended up being the fifth part of my testimony that you are reading now, as I struggled to really get down what I was trying to say about it. Now I can say that I don’t even know if men understand why they find certain things beautiful, and I’m asking readers to explore their concept of beauty as they read.

There are a few amazing women out there who conquered the snare of beauty early, but I am not one of them. My life has been defined by this concept, whether I am physically beautiful or not, and somehow, someway, it led me to Jesus Christ.

Before I begin with my journey through my concept of beauty, you might be wondering, how could this topic possibly lead me to find Jesus Christ? Beauty is not ultimately a key component in the Bible, let alone salvation, and that is exactly the answer! One thing that is interesting to note is that Jesus's appearance is rarely mentioned in the Bible, showing us how the vanity we worry so much about it just not that important when it comes to God. In other words, people didn't seem concerned with what Jesus looked like, but rather, they were concerned with who He was - one with the Father.

You see, in my beginning walk with Christ, I was a shell of my current self. Beauty was important to me because I was lacking so much inside myself, and in my childhood, it was emphasized by my father that beauty equals power.

I remember my dad telling me “Your sister is the pretty one. You’ll have to work and become educated to get what you want.” In other words, my sister could rely on her looks, and I, I would have to become smart to be powerful.

When I reflect on this comment, it is all so very strange. Why would a man say this to his own daughter, even if he believed it?

First, I was beautiful (and Witness 1 says I still am!). Truly! Still, even if I wasn’t, what type of man would say that to his own daughter? A sick man.

In fact, I would dare to say I don’t really think most people are “ugly.” Generally speaking, I believe most people are NOT ugly, but I believe societal factors have truly destroyed people to make them ugly, and/or have created impossible standards where no one can even fathom themselves as attractive anymore. If you look at older pictures of people, before constant bombardment of poisons in nearly every aspect of our lives, people were generally thin and good-looking. Now, when you see someone “unattractive”, it is most certainly because they have been destroyed by society: stress, poisonous food, endless work, etc. It is hard to be good-looking in modern society, and most feel that they cannot live up to the standard of beauty presented, anyway. What I am trying to make clear is I don't think God really made anyone ugly. Really. Even those portrayed as conventionally unattractive, well, some find their oddities beautiful. I believe society has created ugliness in people in a variety of ways, and this is the work of Satan. Further, I am sickened by how people are so quick to call others ugly. There is just something so very strange to me about the sin of vanity in our society that is rarely discussed in church. Reddit's /r/rateme, for example, may be one of the "darkest places on the internet." I have browsed it, and there are really beautiful women being told they are a 5 or 6 in ratings. It's absurd.

In fact, I would say most church services promote the vanity of women, never encouraging them to reflect on beauty or modesty - at least not as much as they once did. Whenever I have gone to church, women were always dressed like they were heading to prom or a worldly wedding - not to serve God.

Now, before I come off as a hypocrite, I’d like everyone reading to know that I do still enjoy femininity and beauty; however, it is no longer an idol for me.

Going back to my dad’s comment on my beauty, well, I believe this was more about control than anything else. I now understand that the men in my life, whether knowingly or not, ensured that I never felt beautiful, which helped them have control over me. I am not saying all men do this - I am saying that I was with a pattern of men who did this to me. Moreover, I believe society acts as this "abusive man" (Satan) to ensure women never feel good enough in any way.

You see, if Levi could make me insecure, then his abuse was much more effective. This was the same for my dad and other men in my life, as well.

I remember, disgustingly, walking into my dad watching pornography as a teenager. He was looking up young, teen blondes, and guess what - I was a young teen blonde - though, I suppose, not beautiful in his eyes.

I just want readers to imagine how gross this felt for me.

Besides, it is important to note my mom was absolutely beautiful! Why did he need that pornography? Did it bother her? My mom and I never talked about topics like that, and she has since passed away, but my mom was very insecure, too.

Men, have you ever met a completely secure girl? I doubt it. And any girl who claims they are secure, well, I think they are lying. Statistics show this, as the majority of women seemingly "hate" their bodies.

Going back to my testimony, a girl develops a sense of herself because of her father. If she sees her father not honor his marriage with pornography or adultery in some form, it changes her perception of herself and men in relation to her. Fathers can have a great influence on their daughter’s sexuality, so remember, men, it starts with you. When men support pornography, they are participating in the destruction of women. Besides, if you read my testimony about my father, you again can see that control over me was very important to him, and through my low self-esteem, he was able to control me in many ways.

Yes, it is true, beauty certainly gives an individual more power in society, so, besides working on my brains and being really intelligent (thank God I did that!), I spent a lot of time and money on my beauty.

For a while, I developed an obsession with calorie counting and weighing myself. I remember that if my weight even went up one pound, it would ruin my entire day. I spent an enormous amount of money on the perfect wardrobe, which I still own and it's pretty nice! However, the amount of money I spent was ridiculous, as it was my idol. I should have been giving to the poor or serving God in some way with my money, but I was serving Satan through my obsession with clothing. People always explained that they loved my style and clothing, and I became an expert at getting men to look at me.

I didn’t really care about Lane's attention for me anymore. Before anybody gets angry reading, besides looking at porn, he did cheat on me. So, in a sort of retaliation, I decided to spend my time getting men’s attention, and I thought it helped fulfill me. Of course, it didn't.

Do you see what happened? Had my ex never watched porn, then, well, I may have been much more secure. Maybe he wouldn’t have cheated. You see, the porn led him to believe I wasn’t enough for him, so he sought other sources for his sexual desires. And because I didn’t care anymore, my spirit changed. I wanted attention from men, and I was desperate for it.

Witness 1 already knows this, but at one time, I was talking to about 15 - 20 different men a week, and I would say they were all my suitors - yes, while I was dating Lane.

Please understand I have since repented for this Jezebel behavior, but I wanted men to see what had happened to me - what had led me down that path. I am also very sorry for the men I hurt by leading them on in any way, and if they ever stumble upon this writing, I hope you can forgive me through Jesus Christ.

Chances are, if you see a woman like this, she was hurt in the same way I was. It might have been through porn, through her father, or a man cheating. Chances are, the woman somehow self-destructed and this evil spirit of Jezebel took over. That’s what happened to me. I am NOT justifying what I did; rather, I am explaining what led to me “acting out” in a hyper-sexual fashion.

Remember, most are no longer raised with God anymore, so if a woman doesn’t have a proper male leader in her life, she will fill herself in other ways. I have no doubt that what you see with women today is a result of the poor leadership of men - who have abandoned God for things like pornography.

So, readers, please, have compassion on me. My testimony is intense, and I am admitting some pretty humiliating things to the world. However, God has told me through my honesty I would help free others. I truly pray that is the case.

Luckily, I was able to get out of this spider web of lies about my beauty defining me. Sure, beauty has power, but what about godly beauty? What would change in my life if God’s beauty came through me inwardly instead of outwardly?

Obviously talking to those men didn’t satisfy me or fill me, and I wanted to know why I felt so incomplete. Part of my search for truth started with this question of beauty. One of the first questions I pondered was beauty itself - was the “beauty” we see today really what God intended for us to view as beautiful? In my research, I stumbled upon the Book of Enoch, and while it is an extra-biblical text, the Bible does refer to Enoch many times, such as in Jude 1: 14 - 15, showing its credibility.

In the book of Enoch, it talks specifically about Azazyel, one of the fallen angels, teaching humans the beautifying of eyebrows or in another translation, beautifying eyelids. Clearly, cosmetics are introduced by fallen angels here, showing that cosmetics, on some level, are sinful.

Do I think all make-up or cosmetics are sinful? No, I do not, and the Bible, which is the full word of God, speaks more about modesty than it does about specific rules about what women should or should not wear. For example, there are no verses about wearing eyeliner, but there are verses about lasciviousness, which should be avoided by both men and women. As always, the church should not be divided by petty quarrels, and I believe a woman is allowed to have femininity and beauty, but in a godly sense, not in a Satanic sense. God, after all, made women beautiful to men for a reason, but that natural beauty has been tainted on many levels.

I like to look at Queen Esther as an example of Biblical beauty to follow. Queen Esther was made queen against her will, chosen for her exceptional beauty; however, she had a hidden beauty that was soon discovered: her heart. Interestingly, according to this commentator:

  • While Esther was supposedly chosen as queen because of her external beauty, the commentators note that it was miraculous that she was found to be attractive, as her physical appearance actually was quite unflattering. The Talmud tells us that Esther was actually of a greenish complexion, but that she had a “thread of grace” that was upon her. We are taught that when the internal is elevated and beautiful, it will show through to the external, so that she can be seen as nothing other than beautiful. This is one of the main themes throughout the text of Eishet Chayil, “A Woman of Valor” from Proverbs, which teaches us: “Grace and beauty are false; it is the woman who has awe for her Creator that is blessed.”

So, it is extremely intriguing to me that Esther may not even have been “physically attractive” when compared to other women of her time, yet somehow she stood out. Even if she was physically attractive, she wasn’t chosen for that reason, but rather, she was chosen for her godly, humble grace. In fact, one can even say God chose her.

I want to be clear here that there may be many interpretations that Esther was indeed physically attractive; however, she was surrounded by just as many women who were also physically attractive. What stood out was her heart.

As I grow older, I feel that this representation of Esther is the godly beauty we should seek. Because she was queen, she certainly had little choice but to wear makeup and adornments to please society around her, but there was something else that was striking about her, something others could not deny.

Now, in this world, women have mostly completely forgotten this aspect of beauty within themselves. This isn’t just about the cliché of being a “nice” girl. Rather, beauty runs much deeper than that, and it has to do with the true self, and the holy spirit.

I have found that my natural beauty, today, would not be honored by most of society. Though I have long eyelashes, they are very blonde and light, and society tells me they should be darkened - my eyebrows the same. If I do not wear mascara or darken my eyebrows, I find people do not see that as beautiful compared to wearing tremendous dark, false eyelashes. So, to fit into societal norms, I have learned to wear mascara and eyeliner. In other words, how can women compare themselves to these provocative women? Unless they go to great lengths, they most likely won't stand out to most men, and these great lengths usually involve some level of "sluttiness" that has now been equated with beauty. In other words, Satanic beauty is all about whoredom.

Do not get me wrong - I still enjoy being beautiful for Witness 1, but I am not as concerned about being a lascivious woman for other men, as I now understand that is Satan's form of beauty - not God's.

While there are many men reading this thinking, “But I love women with a natural look!”, they have not stopped to realize they do not really know what a truly natural woman looks like. Men, please do not claim you know what a woman looks like completely naturally - even if you live with one. You’d be surprised at the lengths most women go to hide their natural selves. I would say a small percentage of men reading really, truly knows what a natural woman looks like.

For example, on the left, in the photo that supposedly has no makeup (it does), this woman still has lip fillers, groomed eyebrows, what appears to be eyeliner, styled and dyed hair, and possibly light foundation or photo editing:

Seriously! Let me repeat - this woman, in her “no make-up” photo is still extremely done up! I could easily analyze the rest of these photos, but I hope the men are getting the picture. These articles, for example, with celebrities without makeup are almost always still wearing makeup! Men just cannot tell, but as a woman, I can. Plus, men don’t understand there are other aspects of beauty women must maintain: hair grooming, dying hair, working out, skin products, etc. If all of these were taken away, including makeup, who would be beautiful? It would be very surprising, and it is almost unfathomable to some. For example, there are very few women who let their eyebrows just naturally grow out, and when women claim they are not wearing makeup, they are still often wearing foundation and light mascara. Without makeup, most women have splotchy skin, wildish eyebrows, and lighter and shorter eyelashes. Their lips are thinner, and most do not have high or prominent cheekbones.

Just a word of caution: The other day I stumbled upon a woman's testimony against wearing makeup. I replied, “But you groom your eyebrows. I think you should either stop doing that, too, or, stop being a hypocrite.” She didn’t reply, but I stand by my comment. Again, I want to emphasize that I am not a legalist, and we really need to go to the word of God to understand what is considered a sin. Further, I don’t want to turn this into a post that condemns women for any sort of beauty. Rather, I want both men and women to reflect on Godly beauty vs. Satanic beauty represented in the world, specifically pornography. I believe there are many dangerous, legalist ministries out there telling women they will go to hell if they wear earrings or put on mascara. That is not what the Bible says.

With that being said, I do think makeup and beauty have been used mostly Satanically in our society, and I do strive to be as natural as possible in my day to day life. Still, I am not going to condemn any woman to hell for wearing a little makeup or trying to be beautiful for her partner.

The emphasis of this section, though, is to get you to consider that you have been glorifying Satanic beauty - both men and women reading. If you watch porn, you are tainting your view of what is beautiful, and you will ignore godly beauty around you. Imagine how many women you may have missed out on because they may have been a little plain or five pounds overweight. Imagine the women you may have missed out on because you didn’t even care to examine their hearts.

Of course, men, I am not painting women as angels here. I understand that many men are seeking this type of godly women; however, women have been largely destroyed. Still, if you are insistent on watching porn and claiming to be a Christian, then how can God bring you the right woman? When I was heavily drinking, did God bless me with the right man in my life? No, he didn’t. I ended up with the wrong men. It wasn’t until I pursued sobriety and changed my life that I met Witness 1. Now, I can’t guarantee that just because you stop watching porn you will find the right woman, but I can say that if you truly give up porn because you love God first, your life will change for the better.

However, the question remains, what is beauty to God? If men truly love God, won’t they find godly women beautiful?

Godly Beauty

What is godly beauty? According to 1 Peter 3:3-4,

  • 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes.
  • 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.

I am sure many men are thinking, “Well I agree with that!”, but I’m telling you right now, if you watch porn, you are certainly telling God and women you don’t. Every single time you watch porn, you are literally denying the godly beauty a woman should possess and telling her the Satanic beauty is better.

So, then, why are you surprised by the actions of the modern woman? No wonder she has the Onlyfans and the TikTok. Men, you have told women that’s what you like through your fruits.

Yet, then, you go to complain about women on the internet message boards, with the porn tab opened on the side. Do you all see the hypocrisy?

Look, I understand many men reading this DO want to quit porn and struggle with loneliness. I know many men reading this are trying to lead a godly life, and I do apologize if I am grouping you all together. However, I am hoping every man reading this is in a state of reflection.

When men decided that they didn't just want their wives, but they also wanted Playboy, well, they were saying to God, “I don’t really care about my leadership as a male or the sanctity of marriage.” According to this article,

  • “Meanwhile, as Mark Regnerus argues in his new book, Cheap Sex, the pervasiveness and diversity of pornography has left some men, at least, less likely to get into relationships with real people and less likely to pursue marriage at all. Hefner was never without a coterie of scantily clad women, but the life he made possible for other men—both married and single—seems characterized by a lot of loneliness.”

When it comes to godly beauty, I had no concept of this growing up. It just wasn't taught or expressed to me in any way. I never had a problem with myself, but society did. Again, I was actually quite lovely, and I want to repeat that I am not saying this to brag or anything like that. Rather, it is just so strange that I felt any sense of insecurity at all, as anybody looking at pictures of me as a teenager would say I was quite pretty! So, what in the world was going on? Well, in these past few decades, Satan has conquered relationships by destroying both men and women through things like pornography.

In my relationships, men always cheated on me, and over time, I had this impending sense that I just wasn’t good enough. At 16, I started wearing make-up more heavily, understanding that there was something about me that just wasn’t good enough for the men around me. Unfortunately, the demons won again.

When I reflect on my relationships with men, it is clear that they were influenced by not just pornography but the Satanic values of society. You see, it wasn’t that I wasn’t beautiful enough - it was that they weren’t Godly enough.

It’s interesting because my first boyfriend, who I will call Jackson, was sincerely the love of my life - or so I thought at the time. I thought I was going to marry him. I waited for sex and everything for him.

Then, he cheated on me, with a girl much less attractive than me, by the way.

That was a long time ago, and I forgive him. But I wonder if he had been raised differently - with God - if things would have turned out differently.

Look, I am happy the way things turned out, and I will be writing about Witness 1 in a moment.

But I want men to understand that every single time you commit to a woman and have sex with them, there is a spiritual bond that forms. This is why the Christians used to preach so much about abstinence, and I wish I would have known! Instead, this message of abstinence was tainted and destroyed by hypocritical Christians and cunning Satanists. The message was lost entirely. I wish somebody would have explained to me the spiritual bond that forms every time you have sex with someone. But nobody told me anything, really.

Jackson’s betrayal really messed with me, and I proceeded to end up with many more wrong men like Levi and Lane. With each passing relationship, I was continually met with the idea that I would never be good enough, and there was only one man who could repair that for me:

Jesus Christ, of course.

Luckily, Jesus Christ came to me and showed me that He loved me and saw my Godly beauty that the world couldn’t see. In order to find the right man, I first had to find Jesus. Doesn’t that make sense? How could I understand who would be a good man for me if I didn’t know Jesus?

Through Jesus, I was able to uncover the fact that pretty much all that is perpetuated as beautiful today is just Satanic. The nudity, the fake eyelashes, the heavy foundation, the dyed hair, the dark eyes and eyelashes, the revealing clothing, etc. - it is all actually Satanic.

That is what Satan views as beautiful, and anyone who buys into it, well you’re buying into what Satan wants.

So, what does God view as beautiful? Apparently, a modest woman who fears the Lord. Wow, you’re not going to see that on TikTok, are you?

For the men complaining about women today, please, examine yourself first. Have you promoted this Satanic view of beauty in women? How can you be angry at women for trying to please all of you, the supposed leaders of society?

For women reading, join me in breaking apart these Satanic standards and focusing on our godly beauty. Whenever I started focusing on Jesus, well, I realized my body was a temple and I became healthier. I started eating better and fasting. I started praying. My skin glows more now. My hair looks healthier. I just am a different woman, and I don’t need the tremendous amount of make-up, selfies, or beauty products to make all of these ungodly men pay attention to me. Women, when we start focusing on Jesus first, our beauty will transform in ways unimaginable.

It has been a journey, but every day I start to see what God was talking about with this inner beauty that should shine outward. I keep my eyes away from anything or anyone saying I am not beautiful enough anymore. Those are Satan’s lies.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying women should become sloppy or let themselves go. I enjoy being beautiful for Witness 1, but I also understand that there is more to my self-worth than that. Though he may think I’m beautiful on the outside, I truly hope there are things he could say about my heart to the world - things that go beyond what I look like.

Still, men are men, and I am not saying God didn’t make beauty for a reason. The problem is that beauty has been twisted!

Once, I was on the phone with a man whose book I edited, and he said to me, “I wouldn’t care if you were 300 pounds. You sound absolutely beautiful, and I would marry you immediately.”

I’m sure Witness 1 rolled his eyes a bit, but to me, that was probably the most lovely comment I could ever get. Because - you see - he could see my inner, godly beauty.

So, for anyone put off thinking I am trying to brag about myself - I’m not! After all, I am allowed to think good things about myself, aren’t I? Satan doesn’t want me to, but to Satan, I am going to proclaim I am beautiful before God. To all of the men who cheated or watched porn when they were with me, I am starting to see I was always beautiful before God, and I’m sorry you didn’t see that in me.

I forgive all these men, and I hold nothing against them. I know they had their own struggles and I am not here to condemn them. Still, it feels good to say that.

To sum up, the problem was that I wasn’t seeing the godly beauty in myself, which contributed to my low self-esteem. The more I grow close to God, through fasting, prayer, and following His commandments, the more beautiful I feel every day. I see that God sees my true innate beauty, and I believe that shines outward. I have found that many men find me more attractive as I get older, which seems contrary to what society tells us will happen. However, part of me believes that they sense something inside of me I didn’t have before: the love of Jesus Christ.

Still, would I ever meet a man who only loved me?

Our Love is A Testimony to The World

This blog post is not to make anyone jealous or envious. I know many are struggling with loneliness, and I will pray for any man or woman reading to find the right person for them or overcome this emptiness. So, please, when you read this, I hope it comes off as a pure love that we should all strive for - not just in romantic relationships - but in our general relationships with others. I hope it comes off as a beautiful testimony from God and nothing more.

My life was pretty broken before I met Witness 1. On the outside I seemed successful, but I was truly dying inside, and I encourage you to read my other testimonies at the beginning of this post to explain the emptiness in my heart.

I pretty much spent a large portion of my time (other than work) browsing conspiracy forums. I investigated evil, and I wanted to understand why evil was allowed in this world.

At the time, I was finally starting to see that everything evil led to Satan. If Satan was real, was God?

I wasn’t quite ready to come to Jesus Christ yet, as my childhood programming convinced me all Christians were stupid and ignorant.

So, one day, on my typical browse of conspiracy topics, I came across a post from a man. This man was rambling about the anti-Christ and the end of the world. I felt a sort of desperation in his writing, and I found it endearing. At the end of the post, he was yelling at people in the comments and just really angry. Haha, I liked it.

So, I sent him a message and said, “Hey, I liked your post.”

He replied by giving me his number. I laughed, but I appreciated the boldness. So, I called him.

When we talked for the first time, he jokingly asked if I would marry him. I just laughed.

One night, in our late night conversations, he revealed he was Christian.

I replied, “Are you sure? I thought you were smart…”

So, that instigated debate and Bible studies between us during the following months, and let’s just say I think we both fell in love during this time. Also, through his help, I realized Jesus Christ was real.

I do want to note I am going to skip a chunk of time in this writing, which will be for another part of my testimony - mostly for the brevity and focus of this particular post.

We lived thousands of miles away from each other, but we decided to meet each other in real life. Honestly, what I did was risky, but I decided to meet him in a city in between us. He could have been a serial killer, but I figured if I died, it was my fault. I took the chance for love.

When I first met him, he reached out his hand, and I thought, “I hope we hold hands forever.”

Unfortunately, I was slightly drunk, and I dropped my purse and all my credit cards everywhere, but he just laughed, and we went off and explored the city.

After that trip, I had to make an important decision if I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, and I did. In fact, I received a dream about it.

I woke up in a heavenly realm, and all sorts of people were watching me. They told me they were watching me and loved me. Then, an angel came and told me I must marry Witness 1. If I did not marry him, then I would never fulfill my divine destiny. She then put a timer on, and I woke up!

Let's just say, I took that dream pretty seriously!

So, he moved thousands of miles to be with me, and we married as soon as possible. There is much more drama to this story, but I’m giving you all the censored, Hallmark version before I reveal some of the bad stuff in another testimony.

Now, this is the moment I will never forget. Before he moved to be with me forever, he called me. He said, “I wanted to let you know that I am going to give up porn for you. I don’t think it is right to watch it, especially while in a relationship."

I was shocked, but somehow, despite my past, I believed him.

We have been together a while now, and let’s just say Witness 1 and I have an open phone relationship. We are pretty inseparable, and I can honestly say he has never watched pornography in our relationship. He has respected me fully, and do you know how amazing that makes me feel?

Because he loves me so much to do that, I work so hard to be beautiful for him. So many claim that their wives get fat or whatever, but they don’t recognize that women don’t want to put in effort for men who don’t honor them.

Because Witness 1 honors me so much, I honor him, too. I am loyal to him, and despite many propositions (yes, he knows), I am true to him.

And, since we are adults, we have a wonderful and healthy sex life that is very beautiful. In fact, I would even say it honors God.

Witness 1 gets the best of me because he lets me have the best of him. Because he gives me his attention (and he is very handsome, so I know women would like his attention), then I give him all of my attention.

You see, he is the godly leader, and he influences me. If he were to start watching porn, it would break my heart, but I honestly believe he will never do that to me - even as I age. Even as I change.

I believe Witness 1 does love the godly beauty in me, but because he loves that, it makes me try hard to be physically beautiful for him.

I hope people understand what I’m trying to say. Men, it starts with you. If you are in a relationship, and you are watching porn, you are destroying the women in your life. Imagine if you gave up porn for your partner. I wonder how she would change.

Men, if you are single and still watching porn, that is a sin. I believe that God cannot bless you with the things you want as you are in sin. Again, when I was living in sin, my life was a mess, and blessings were withheld from me. Remember, sin separates us from God.

So, Witness 1, I thank you for not watching porn. For many men out there, they may see me as controlling or insecure, but I think you see me as a woman of God. Because you love me and honor me, I will always love you and honor you, too, and I hope we are together for eternity with Jesus Christ always at the center of our marriage.

So, now, here are some words from Witness 1.

Witness 1

Pornography: The Synagogue of Satan’s Weapon of Mass Seduction

Witness 2 asked me to write a small piece wrapping this all up. I think that she covered just about everything, but I will try to add my perspective.

Basically, we have failed as a society. I see a lot of rampant misogyny online, and while I’m definitely not a feminist or anything like that, I think that men fail to self-examine and question who let who down first.

Yes, women have largely failed us all, and most of them are beyond saving. However, they are like that because us, as men, have been weak. We should never have let the Synagogue of Satan organized crime syndicate take over our country, we should never have let things like 9/11 happen unchallenged.

Now, I’ve covered the morality and violence question in my previous writings, and I will eventually get into it more. When does it become more Biblically unsound to cower in fear and tolerate absolute psychopaths versus violently removing and destroying them? It’s a tricky question with a lot of nuance, so I won’t attempt to answer it here.

Needless to say, we have acquiesced. And due to that, we are weak men. The women sense that, which is why they do what they do - vote for destructive politicians, get abortions, support rampant third world immigration, open borders, etc.

You see, women are very intuitive and subconscious thinkers. They mostly feel their way through life, and they need a firm hand guiding them. Because we have failed to do so, the Synagogue of Satan has stepped in to fill the role.

Betrayal is built into the very core of the woman’s being, as their primary method of survival throughout history has been to sacrifice the weaker males and produce offspring with whatever males conquer or kill their original choice. They can do this with almost no guilt and a great sense of compartmentalization. So, it’s the men’s job to know this, to recognize this, and to, in turn, be the strong male that they need. If you’re not, and we certainly are not right now, then you can’t complain when your women begin stabbing you in the back in preference for the invaders or new rulers of your society.

So, what are the roots of pornography? Well, as many of us are familiar with, many of the paraphilias rampant in society today and issues like widespread pornography have their roots in the Weimar Republic.

The story of this era in German history is well fleshed-out, with plenty of material online. Child prostitution was rampant, along with other paraphilias like necrophilia, beastiality, etc. Obviously, this is a large part of why Hitler was able to seize power so effectively prior to World War II. And then one day, for no reason at all…

However, pornography has been around for as long as human history, with the earliest ever known work of art being an iconic stone figurine of an overweight, post-child bearing woman, and pornography crude pornographic graffiti found drawn in ancient Roman ruins.

The difference with Weimar Germany, and us today, is the use and power of technology to make it more widespread and effective at destroying society. When you had to create your pornography by hand-carving a lump of rock, scribing a stone wall, or painting by hand, it was, perhaps it is fair to say, less of an issue.

Now, I’ve previously discussed how essentially all of the technology we take for granted, including photography and movies, is Satanic in origin and nature. Electricity, the car, computers, all of it was revealed or created by occultists, has demonic origins, and was released to us specifically to serve the purpose of destroying society.

Make no mistake - pornography is one of the Synagogue of Satan’s most effective weapons to destroy societies. Remember that none of these people are the Biblical Jews or Israelites, as we’ve covered, they are the Synagogue of Satan - those who claim to be Jews but aren’t, and are liars.

Let’s look at some proof that the Synagogue of Satan has used pornography as an organized and concerted effort to undermine and destroy our society:

  • 1. Hugh Hefner and Playboy****:

Jewish organization the ADL awards and honors Hefner:

JUNE 10, 1981

WASHINGTON, DC – In a move that stirred controversy in the organized American Jewish community, the Anti-Defamation League B’nai B’rith presented its 1980 First Amendment Award to Hugh Hefner, publisher of Playboy magazine and mogul of the Playboy empire.

At the time, Hefner claimed Playboy and Israel share the same values.

“I’m proud to see Playboy Israel embark on its mission to play an important role in strengthening freedom of speech, freedom of choice and freedom of the press,” Hefner said in a message prerecorded for the magazine’s launch party. “I am equally pleased that so many of the core values of the magazine are also the core values of the country and the society that has so graciously invited us to be a part of its cultural landscape.”

By the mid-1960s, Playboy’s young editors were charting the magazine’s course. “The whole staff, practically, was Jewish,” Lehrman recalls. “We were the dominant, probably the brighter ones.” Under Spectorsky, Lehrman, Wax, and Kretchmer, and always with Hefner’s approval, Playboy at the same time began to feature Jewish writers, artists, and themes more prominently than ever before.

In the 1960s, as the magazine prospered, Spectorsky’s hires included a couple more Jewish editors, Sheldon Wax and Arthur Kretchmer, who quickly rose to prominent positions on the masthead. Hefner didn’t object; many of his closest associates and personal assistants, including Bobbie Arnstein and Dick Rosenzweig, were Jews. Indeed, in the “Playboy Philosophy,” the ponderous series of articles that he published beginning in late 1962 to air his beliefs about sexual morality and sundry topics, Hefner professed a frank admiration for American Jews…

The magazine was at its richest and most complex: not simply a purveyor of airbrushed nudes and hi-fi reviews, but a vital, progressive, and surprisingly Jewish voice in American culture during the most turbulent decade of the last century.

Alvin Goldstein (January 10, 1936 – December 19, 2013) was an American pornographer. He is known for helping normalize hardcore pornography in the United States.[1][2][3]

Goldstein was born in Williamsburg, Brooklyn to a Jewish family.

Michael Kulich was born to parents of Russian-Jewish descent[4]

Jews in the adult industry, there’s a lot of them….The adult industry was pretty much founded by the Jews. Basically, in the early nineteen hundreds, the German Jewish immigrants came in, and when they were trying to get into different industries, there was a lot of antisemitism where they couldn’t get into normalized work….so they gravitated toward the porn industry because it’s kind of the seedier cousin of the Hollywood industry which had already been controlled by the Jews.

Israeli troops who have taken over three Palestinian television stations in Ramallah are broadcasting pornographic movies and programs in Hebrew, irate residents say.

Soldiers occupied the offices of three local television and radio stations on Saturday morning, and started broadcasting the porn clips intermittently on Saturday afternoon on the Al-Watan, Ammwaj, and Al-Sharaq channels, the residents said.

  • 8. MindGeek (owners of PornHub and most other major porn sites) COO David Tassillo:

Who is David Tassillo?

Although reportedly of Jewish descent, David is a true Montreal, Quebec native hailing from a loving, supportive, tight-knit family, and he has an extensive background in the field of engineering. Yet the Concordia University graduate’s calling is admittedly as a pornographer, which he discovered in the mid-2000s alongside four fellow schoolmates he’d met through a foosball tournament. That’s when they’d actually co-founded their first erotic site, just to end up garnering incredible success rather quickly owing to its ease of use, free content, and specialization in specific niches.

Gloria Leonard (born Gale Sandra Klinetsky;[2] August 28, 1940 – February 3, 2014) was an American pornographic actress during the Golden Age of Porn (1969–1984) who later became the publisher of High Society magazine.[3] As a board member of Adult Video Association and its successor the Free Speech Coalition, Leonard was an outspoken advocate for the adult film industry and free speech rights.[4]

Phone sex line pioneer

Leonard is credited with being one of the first people to use "976 numbers" for promotional purposes and as a revenue stream: this later became known as the "phone sex" industry.[4]

Leonard was Jewish and raised in the Bronx neighborhood of New York City.[4]

Midan Voice explained that whenever someone tried to present "the facts about the role of the Jews in porn," they were shut down with antisemitism as the excuse.

The video further claimed that porn was created as a means to "pollute" Christian culture. "When [Jewish porn producer Al Goldstein] was asked why the Jews dominate the porn industry, he said clearly: 'The only reason that the Jews play a role in the porn industry is that we hate Christ.'"

  • 11. Infamous pornographer and owner of the Blacked.com porn company, Greg Lansky:

Artful Porn and anti-Semitic Threats: The Man Behind the 'HBO of Adult Films' Bares All

He was harassed by skinheads as a kid in Paris and was rejected by his Jewish community. Twenty years later, adult film producer Greg Lansky is striving to realize his dream: making porn into an art form

Harvey, sadly, is a deeply Jewish kind of pervert.

Better than perhaps any other author, Roth captured the particular anxiety of the Jewish American man in the twentieth century, finally coming into power but, having not grown up with it, unsure of what he’s supposed to do now. All those years craving unattainable Gentiles, but never before the means to entice them. The result is Alexander Portnoy of Portnoy’s Complaint, a grown man whose emotional and sexual life is still all one big performance piece, just as it had been when he was a teenager and pleasured himself with a piece of liver.

It goes without saying that nearly every one of these women—Rose McGowan, Ambra Batillana, Laura Madden, Ashley Judd, etc.—was a Gentile, all the better to feed Weinstein’s revenge-tinged fantasy of having risen above his outer-borough, bridge-and-tunnel Semitic origins.

A hit play written in Yiddish in 1907 by a largely unknown 27-year-old from Kutno, God of Vengeance tells the story of a brothel-owning Jew who hopes he can keep his teenage daughter pure and holy, even though his money derives from the business of sin. Of course, he can’t.

Jewish pimps and prostitutes could be found everywhere from the stories of Sholem Aleichem to the pages of muckraking American magazines.

Faderman has recently published “Harvey Milk,” a biography that is part of Yale University’s Jewish Lives series. Her book claims Milk’s Jewish identity played a vital role in shaping his political convictions.

“Harvey’s Jewish background was very important for him,” says Faderman. “He was in no way a religious Jew, and was brought up in a very secular environment. But he learned from his mother the term “tikkun olam,” the Jewish obligation to help repair the world.”

Brilliant actors like Larry David and Sarah Silverman are challenging America's powerful religious, family-friendly culture and asserting their Jewishness by glorifying obscenity.

In a tidy coincidence, two separate videos went viral last week, demonstrating that American Jews’ love affair with obscenity is still going strong. Sarah Silverman talks about being visited by Jesus Christ, who asks her to spread a message about women’s reproductive rights (“We’ve got to legislate that shit,” the comedienne said, mocking conservatives…

Finally, we can wrap this up with two more articles, one from Rolling Stone and one from the New York Times. Remember, when these mainstream media liars tell you something, the exact opposite is the truth.

David Ley, PhD, a clinical psychologist and sex therapist who studies pornography and mental health, saw the meme after he tweeted his criticism of No Nut November, referring to it as “a creepy little smorgasbord of insecurity-driven hate with anti-Semitism, misogyny, and homophobia all rolled up in one,” he tells Rolling Stone.

An even more extremist version of this far-right anti-masturbation philosophy has been promoted by David Duke, the former head of the Ku Klux Klan, who has propagated the conspiracy theory that Jews dominate the porn industry and use pornography as a way to control white men. On far-right threads on the encrypted messaging app Telegram, this sentiment is fairly widespread. “Jews not only control most of the pornography industry, they also rely on the goyim to maintain a routine of ejaculation in order to stay docile and non-violent,” one comment reads. Another shared a viral Pornhub tweet poking fun at viewers who’d failed No Nut November, writing, “the Jew mocks you as they poison the minds of millions.” (Pornhub is owned by the Canadian company MindGeek, the CEO of which, Feras Antoon, does not appear to be Jewish, even though there are numerous 4chan /pol/ threads speculating as such.)

This anti-Semitism is also often accompanied by healthy doses of homophobia and racism as well: on these threads, you’ll frequently see users deriding men who masturbate to heterosexual porn, on the grounds that being aroused by another man’s penis makes you gay (even if said penis is depicted going into a vagina). And because mainstream porn often features white women paired with black men, there’s also a virulently racist element to much of this discourse, such as the suggestion that interracial porn is intended to steer white women away from procreating with white men and toward men of color.

LOS ANGELES — Buried in the anti-Semitic manifesto of the 19-year-old man who recently opened fire in a synagogue near San Diego is a sentence in which he blames Jews for “causing many to fall into sin with their role in peddling pornography.”

White nationalists, misogynistic clubs and online forums have also drawn a connection between pornography and anti-Semitism. Many of the adherents appear to be young men who blame the prevalence of pornography online for their own struggles and what they perceive as society’s decline.

The theory that Jews are trying to control the West by using porn to render white Christian men impotent has deep roots. Among its exponents are several elder statesmen of the current white nationalist movement, such as David Duke, who, in a 2016 Twitter feud posted: “Jews dominate porn — why are ‘Christians’ ok with that?”

“If you drill down, there are micro-conspiracies that help to further breed these larger conspiracies: Jews control Hollywood and the media, and by extension the porn industry,” said Joanna Mendelson, a senior researcher for the Anti-Defamation League’s Center on Extremism.

So, what conclusions can we draw here? How to wrap all of this up? Well, it’s a complicated issue. It’s hard being single and alone, that’s a fact. However, it’s also important to understand that pornography is a psychological weapon of mass seduction used to hammer away at the pillars of societies until they eventually give way.

Like most other tools of Satan, it requires the willing participation of the victims. He never force-fed Eve the apple, and he won’t strap you down in the chair from A Clockwork Orange and make you watch pornographic movies with your eyelids forced open.

No, he will simply put it out there, offering money and drugs to desperate women to film it, and free access for anyone who wants to see it. This is in line with everything else I’ve said about the Devil - he’s not really an actual actor in the world who is capable of harming you any more than you choose to harm yourself. He’s really the undercover cop that God uses to fulfill His purposes, and one of those is separating the wheat from the chaff. Pornography is one way to do this, and this physical world will be destroyed, reaping a bountiful harvest for the spiritual realm.

However, this harvest could not exist without the sin, and without the people who choose to live in it. They will pay the ultimate price, and through them great purposes will be accomplished.

This is the dopamine trap which ensures much of humanity. Billions and billions of people have lived unable to see beyond their immediate pleasures in life, giving themselves over as slaves to their dopaminergic system, losing their very souls to hypersexuality, drug addictions, criminality, and other destructive bargains. These people will not make it in the end.

Do not be one of them. Like any other drug, wean yourself off of it. Even Rolling Stone is forced to admit that there are some benefits to stopping porn. You will feel better, you will be more in tune spiritually, and you will feel better about yourself. It’s difficult, we get that, but all good things are. You can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs, after all.

God bless you all.

-Witness 1